Black Lives Matter, Identity & 2020

art via @iscreamcolour

Black lives more than just ‘matter’.

Black people, Black art, Black history, Black music, Black anxiety, Black mental health, Black success, Black friends, Black family and Black Joy. That and so much more matters.

If you are wondering why I have not written here in the past few weeks it is not because I didn’t know what to say or how to say it.

It is not because I don’t have a go to list of petitions to sign, things to read, pods to listen to, etc. Every woke woman on the internet and even your Nana w/ google can provide that. But hit me up if you want my faves.

If anything, it is because I would hope you know where I stand & that I have made it obvious over the five years in this space my feelings on race, politics, gender equality, socio economic status & all the other 20th century ‘taboo’ conversation topics. I love talking taboos! Check my essay on privilege if you need proof.

The real reason I have not written here or even shared much on social media is because I have been self conscious of my voice right now. I fluctuate between feeling self congratulatory (fotos from protests & books I have read) and also like I am adding noise or piling on to what is already a very busy echo chamber in my feed. There are so many other talented & informed voices that are sharing so much knowledge, guidance, art & inspiration right now. I feel that the ‘work’ I continue to do pales (pun intended) in comparison to the true educators & leaders in this moment.

So naturally I have been truly doubting and questioning if what I have to say matters. I know it does to an extent so I wanted to come on here and share one thing: BLM is a human rights movement that EVERY SINGLE PERSON NEEDS TO GET THE F ON BOARD WITH & if you are on this page and are not quite sure or have questions please comment below & I will reach out directly by phone to chat.

Identity

One thing personally I have taken away from this moment is newfound language that is making its way into our vernacular. In the past I have had a hard time trying to reconcile how to self identify, a privilege, not afforded to others in my family. And to be completely honest I carry some guilt and shame with that. When meeting someone new I will often get the question ‘what are you?’ meaning ‘where is your family from’? I appreciate this question and with pride tell people my grandparents were born in Mexico. I am half Mexican. Most often the response back is something like ‘oh that is not what I thought, but I can see it’. lol.

In recent conversations and reading I have come to learn and accept the language of “white passing” or “white presenting”. So now when relevant, especially in conversations around race I have become comfortable using this language. My hope is that this succinctly acknowledges my self awareness around the privilege of light skin but more importantly my position as ally. I strongly believe that there is an underlying sisterhood & forced allyship amongst WOC. All women should support all women. But WOC uniquely experience things differently than their white counterparts.

I am still working thru this and would love your feedback here. Especially my fellow latinx, asians and POC. I could write a whole other post on assimilation into white American culture and passing. Which we probably should do!

2020

Lastly, remember how growing up we always heard about the year 2020 as the future. Imagining flying cars, visits to mars and a technologically advanced green and energy efficient utopia. 2020 has obviously not been a smooth start but don’t you think it is the shake up and wake up we needed to make the future actually brighter and better?

I think about the impact this moment will have on education in schools and access to literature and information by Black historians and scholars. How this will now forever be how we must teach American History. We used to really have to work much harder to find this information but now it has been elevated to not only our fingertips but also the cultural subconscious. People are asking questions that they have never even thought to ask before. We are questioning things that have been learned as well as acknowledging the often unconscious participation in systemic racism.

DISCLAIMER

Thank you for getting it this far & working thru this with me. I welcome your feedback, input, constructive criticism and dialogue. I fully recognize that my views as a white presenting Mexican don’t exempt me from learning & unlearning. I am writing & sharing as it helps me process & evolve too.

xx Ly