throwback to 33 weeks pregnant
Back this week with another dip into the archives. I consider this post to be one of my most honest pieces about pregnancy and parenthood. I wrote this at 33 weeks pregnant and it is a post that makes me feel like this blog is really worth it. Worth it in the sense that it allows me to voice my opinion on the situation, express my thoughts and have a place to come back and revisit.
My foray into motherhood came as a big surprise. Something I was not anticipating or expecting to happen for a few more years. But as we all know, you can't plan it all and even if you do it will never go as planned.
I invite you to read my post Motherhood Anxiety. For all you expecting parents, new parents and current parents I would love to know what you think, if you relate and what is going through your head. Here is an excerpt:
I know its going to be half wonderful and half frightening. I know there are going to be days when I am feeling like a complete and utter wreck but other days (maybe just moments) when my life will feel blissfully awesome with this little person that we created together. Those emotions of course are nothing new to my past 30 years- ups and downs, difficult and wonderful. But lets go back to my younger self’s idea of ‘future me’. The powersuit- obviously women and work place fashion have come a long way in the past 20 years. I wear sneakers, leggings, jeans, booties, leather jackets and gold accessories to work- and will continue to do so with a kid on my hip or holding my hand- so I can picture that and it looks just fine, probably much more comfortable than the powersuit. But the point in my career in which I am now having a child is not what I had planned. I think what the powersuit represented was a woman who was established. I do not feel like I am there yet, my plan has always been to wait on motherhood until I had more experiences and accomplishments to my name.
Re-reading this about a year and a half later I still have a lot of the same feelings and am pleased to see and understand that the things I thought to be true, actually were true. The feelings I had were acceptable and the identity crisis is a valid one.
Thanks for reading.