Hello 2020
Hi from the future. The year 2020’s novelty has not yet worn off on me.
What has been wearing on me a bit this year so far though is the thought of this space and my lack of content so far this year. It has not been procrastination. It is not been avoidance. I am not sure what this is. And I write this fully aware that the lack of content is only experienced by me. My followers are in the 10s and we all have busy, crazy full enough lives as is so I know that nobody has really missed out on my musings. But I do know that I enjoy the exercise of writing (and sharing) my thoughts, questions, observations and opinions on all of the things.
Right now though, I am on a six week hiatus from work, something called a sabbatical that is earned after 10 (12) years in the corporate world. This time is allowing me to reflect, reset and re-engage with a lot of different things. Somewhere on my list of ‘things’ is this space, this blog. It is mixed amongst other things that I jumped into quickly this month, like running everyday and logging miles like the collegiate runner I used to be. Traveling to Hawaii with Mike, my mom and the kids. And the past two weeks fostering the female relationships in my life that I don’t often have time for in a normal day. And also doing spontaneous things with Mike that don’t get to happen during a typical work day or week. We took a walk in the unseasonable February sunshine this morning to Laurelhurst park, chatted with our neighbors and took a leisurely trip to the grocery store to spend more time than ever before examining produce. It was almost romantic! A lot of people have asked me how I feel with this time off. Asking if I am enjoying it. As if maybe I wish this time off would go quicker or that maybe I miss the trappings of work life. The answer is YES! I feel really happy, content and proud of my person right now. In all of my positions in this world: wife, mother, daughter, friend, dog mom even! I have been a way better dog mom these past few weeks than I have been since we brought Momo home from the hospital.
As I wrote above, this time is about doing what I want and connecting with the people and spaces that I want to. When I think about what I ‘want’, I know I am hungry for more expression and more contact here. I started this space initially to document the early years of motherhood and specifically the pain points I was experiencing early on. Five years later I feel adjusted, comfortable, happy even. I like this role as Madre and value the perspective on relationships and womanhood that I have received since becoming a mom. I want to share and connect on more of that. I am not sure what exactly I plan to share in the coming weeks or months but am committing to spending a bit more time here. Accessing this space and this time to share and connect.
Thanks for being here. To follow along on all the real time fun you can find me on IG @makinglamadre & @lydialauer where I post a confusing collection of compartmentalized moments in time.
xx Ly