Back with week three of my friend Felicia's reflections on the Chinese tradition that is, The Sitting Month. Here she reflects on her third week as mom to baby boy Kai.
Week 3: Things Get A Little Easier
This week is off to a rocking start. Kai has been vomiting and despite all the materials that tell you its normal, it's freaky to see your baby throw up. Back to the pediatricians we go... Which reminds me I really need to make sure I add Kai to my insurance before before my 31 days are up. At this rate, the first people he will recognize are going to be us, my mom and his pediatrician.
While nothing actually got easier, this week felt a tiny bit easier than the last two. Practicing helps a lot. I feel much more comfortable changing all kinds of diapers - including the kind where your baby pees and/or poops on you as you're changing him. Breastfeeding is still not smooth sailing, but it's gotten better from the first two weeks (there is still pain, but it's manageable). I still have to supplement, but the amount is going down. 4am feedings are still killing me - no upside to that. But most importantly, Kai looks and feels stronger and bigger, and our doctor confirms that he is indeed gaining weight, coming in at eight pounds this week. He is still small but this is a huge step in the right direction.
In addition to taking care of him, there are a lot of extras that I would like to do with and for Kai that I haven't - I feel guilty when I see new moms on instagram doing photo shoots and going out in the first weeks. I want to document this time with Kai but doing a photo shoot seems less important than getting some sleep. I want to invite friends over to see him and to hang out, but feel hesitant because of his lack of immunity, his sleep/feed schedule, and my exhaustion. I know it would be god for me to be more social, but I also remind myself that I'm letting this first month be all about me and him, and that I'll get back into everything else when I feel ready.
First, do not let instagram let you feel guilty about anything EVER. It can be such a suck in that way. I know a few moms who affectionately refer to instagram as breastfeeding break entertainment. Use it like that. I remember finding solace in searching the hashtags of the things I was going thru at the moment. For example: #breastfeeding, #newborn #twoweeksold #fedisbest #newmom #honestmotherhood etc.
Also, yes let this month be about your bonding, plus it is SOOOOO cold in New York, nobody wants to be outside!