Two months ago I abruptly quit my @makinglamadre instagram. I was overwhelmed with the double life. I felt like the delineation between my two accounts was becoming very blurry. Because it was. My content was becoming more and more the same on the two accounts and it was making me uncomfortable. I needed a remedy. Hastily quitting MLM on IG before our trip to Japan was my quick decision.
Here I am, today, on the other side. A little embarrassed but also proud of myself to admit that I miss my @makinglamadre handle. I miss the community and stories I was exposed to through that account. The friends I made and conversations we had.
But now with just my one account I continue to second guess my posting (also embarrassing to admit). Why do I care so much? Why am I projecting so hard? What am I trying to project?
I look at the accounts of some of the other mothers that I follow (@latyonyayvette @thehappilyeva @leandramcohen) and think about how they are able to present themselves uniquely and authentically as their ‘full person’. It was accounts like theirs that initially inspired me to slim down my social media presence.
However, for me, it has been surprisingly difficult in practice. I like the separation. I like focusing on just me, the things that bring me inspiration, the things that I want to share uniquely as the woman I am versus sharing just pics of Momo. Which MLM IG allowed me to do. It was a Momo-fest but also honest motherhood outlet.
I was initially in a space where I thought the compartmentalization was unhealthy or dishonest. As I continue to dissect the many roles I have and the life I have right now I realize that the separation afforded an outlet that felt safer, less judgmental and more authentically connected to the people that wanted to interact with this side of me.
So, with all of that I am determining what my return to MLM IG will be like. I have a few ideas on this rebirth and would love to hear from you if you have the time or space to share. A few thought starter questions:
What has been your favorite theme or topic that I post about?
What content is most relatable to you?
What do you like about this blog or my instagram?
Am I over thinking this whole thing?
Thank you so much in advance, I really appreciate hearing from you in the comments below or on IG.
Above photo from last week at the Mermaid pond at Lotusland in Montecito, California.